My Bipolar Story Part 1




My bipolar disorder story starts at the age of 12. I was in 6th grade and had lost all of my friends to "cooler" ones. I felt so lonely and couldn't bring myself to go to school. I just stopped attending. There was nothing my parents could do. I would just cry most of the day.

I felt completely miserable. Why should I go if no one wanted to talk with me during recess? I was also the bookish girl and basically shut everyone out during the first few days until I couldn't take it anymore. See my old friends discussing magazines and sharing gossip (that I thought was about me) was the worst.

I became suicidal.  My first thoughts of suicide revolved around "Nobody loves me. I don't love myself. What's the point?" My first "mild" suicidal action where to try to stop breathing. I would go under the sheets and keep my breath in until I couldn't anymore.




My parents decided it was time to do something. They brought me to the Children's Hospital. I was so "lifeless" that I didn't respond to any of the reflex tests. I went through several exams and blood tests.

At the time, it was rare for a person of my age to have suicidal thoughts. They wanted to rule everything out, so I stayed on the medical floor for a few weeks. I was so well cared for when I went there. I had a personal occupational therapist. I did a lot of art and read a lot. But I must say it was not all fun. These things occupied me but when I would meet doctors and talk about the source of my problems I would break down in tears. I was also checked 24/7 for my safety which was hard too.

This was all near my 13th birthday. As soon as I turned 13, the doctors gave me the discharge and sent me to a Teen Institution. It was the worst. But that's in another post.

- Catherine 

If you or someone you know needs help, call 1-800-273-8255 for the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline in the US. Outside of the U.S., please visit the International Association for Suicide Prevention for a database of resources.

Canada1-853-456-4566
Québec1-866-APPELLE (277-3553)
Kids Help Phone / Tel Jeunes:  1-800-668-6868

8 comments

  1. I'm really interested in your story. Can't wait to read more.

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  2. Thank you for sharing your story. I'm sure it'll help others feel less alone!

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    1. Thank you Robin! That’s really nice of you!

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  3. I'm so sorry to hear that you went through such a hard time growing up babe, friends can be so cruel sometimes. I really hope that your story gets better for you darling and I'm really looking forward to reading more so please tweet the link to me so I can retweet it for you and give you a read and a comment. Sending you so much love and happiness 🌸💗✨

    With love, Alisha Valerie. x
    www.alishavalerie.com | www.twitter.com/alishavalerie

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    1. Thank you for your comment :) and yes, 5 years ago it did get get better. Sending you some love as well!

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  4. I'm so sorry you went through this and you are so brave to share your story.
    Sending you lots of virtual hugs!

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    1. Thank you for the hugs! I appreciate your words, it only wants me to keep on going!

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